Autocorrect Just Wants to Mess With You

When Autocorrect started to be a thing, my new boss sent me this text:

Dying.

I wasn’t sure what to make of it. I thought: Dying as in dying laughing? She did seem to have a good sense of humor.

I noticed she attached an article. I read the article. It had nothing to do with somebody dying.

Then I thought: Holy shi*t is she dying and I’m the only person she reached out to? Her one last text?

I started to scramble. I have to save this woman’s life. But I don’t know her that well. Do I call 911? I don’t know where she lives. Plus, if I’m misinterpreting this it could be very embarrassing because you know, sometimes they send an ambulance, a police car and a fire truck. But what’s embarrassment got to do with it? There’s a life at stake here!

Wait. She had the wherewithal to attach an article, right? She’s my new boss. Maybe this is some kind of a test. Still, I could also be her last hope!

I probably should have texted back “RU OK” and saved some time but I was used to a lifetime of full words and punctuation so I texted back: “Are you okay?” I should have called! But she’s my new boss and, you know, that could be awk—-what was I thinking?!

She texted back: “Lol – Autocorrect. I meant fyi.

Fyi. Call off the sirens. Fyi, I was not LOL-ing. Because shouldn’t Autocorrect be CORRECT?!

Other memorable Autocorrects (from other people):

Instead of “The Big Apple Circus” I got an invitation to “The Bug Apple Circus” (Ew!)

I received the text: “I am now free this weekend” which we later cleared up was supposed to be: “I am not free this weekend.”

But I think this is my favorite. Notice how this guy writes at the beginning that he always gets injured and then the Autocorrect when he starts the last paragraph.

In conclusion, the important point in all this is: Let’s slow it down. Let’s re-read what we write before we send it. One time is plenty. More communication doesn’t mean better communication, and faster communication doesn’t mean it’ll save anyone time.

6 Comments on “Autocorrect Just Wants to Mess With You”

  1. This is GREAT! Anyone who texts can relate. Not funny with sincere concern for your boss, but so funny how you explain what was going through your head. YES, “shouldn’t Autocorrect be CORRECT?!”
    This is my funniest text that went wrong. My friend apologized for not seeing my post on Facebook. I TRIED to explain…
    “No need to apologize! You made the choice to be on meds often. That’s why I call or text you when I want you to see something.”
    “LOL! Be on LESS often.”

    1. Heather Maidat says:

      Thank you for your comment and for sharing your story! I love sharing the laughs (and confusion!)

  2. Anonymous says:

    I can’t remember funny misspellings to send to you. I know I got them. But this was fun. I read and re-read the last paragraph about four times until I found the misspelling. So funny! I am old enough that I remember looking for miss-prints in newspapers — before computers. And now you have them again in texts.
    Ginger

    1. Heather Maidat says:

      Misprints in newspapers are funny. In texts, they can entirely change your plans! Thanks for your comment, Ginger!

  3. Anonymous says:

    Dear Heather,
    The beginning of this was like a mystery story. What would I do if I got a text like that? I will try to remember how you handled it so if it happens to me, I’ll know what to do.

    1. Heather Maidat says:

      I would recommend not doing what I did (haha) and calling regardless of how awkward it is. Thanks for your comment!

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