Are You a Marriage Virgin?

Move over “Spinster”. Later for you “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette”.

If you’ve never been married before or have been asking, “What do you call an unmarried woman these days?” you either know one or are one. A Marriage Virgin.

Marriage Virgins are those who want their first time – getting married – to be with someone they really love.

Proudly and confidently, Marriage Virgins are busy with careers, friends, dating, occasional sex, and figuring it all out. They’re waiting for the right one, not just any “one”.  They don’t want to settle down, they want to settle up.

Some Marriage Virgins almost get married but know it will be a shambles just in time and have the courage to call it off. Some Marriage Virgins try and try again but have relationships that just aren’t working out. Either way, not meeting the right one yet doesn’t mean anything except you haven’t met them yet. (And if you actually have, maybe you haven’t been ready to scoop them up.)

Things Marriage Virgins have in their corner:

  1. Likely dated a lot so they know when that right person comes around.
  2. Spent time living life so won’t feel like they’re missing out, trapped, or weighed down for the long haul.
  3. From life experience and time for self-reflection, likely know themselves and are better at communicating making for a strong relationship.

Things Marriage Virgins can work on:

  1. In between independent and dependent is interdependent. A combo of both. If you’re ultra-independent, don’t be afraid to be vulnerable. There’s a difference between “need” and “needy”.
  2. Change any dating “rules” you have to “preferences”. It helps with clarity, flexibility, and  communication. You’ll know why you’re asking for certain things rather than just because you’re supposed to.
  3. We all want to be in a relationship with someone who challenges us, but  recognize the difference between a healthy challenge and an unhealthy challenge. In a healthy challenge you want to be your best. In an unhealthy challenge you want to be their best.

So Marriage Virgins, remember: people are meeting people at all ages and stages, and desirability happens effortlessly when you are kind to yourself.  You can now proudly refer to yourself as a Marriage Virgin. After all, “Spinster” has spun, and “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” now imply someone on the wine-guzzling ABC show of the same name.


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4 Comments on “Are You a Marriage Virgin?”

  1. Anonymous says:

    I’m a Marriage Virgin. I won’t even tell you how old I am. But this made me feel a lot better about myself and gave me some hope. Thanks.

    1. Heather Maidat says:

      Thanks for your comment. Age has nothing to do with it anymore, it’s all about stage. Go get ’em!

  2. Anonymous says:

    That is sooooo good! I’m sending this to my single daughter. I want her to read your explanation that you shouldn’t settle down, that you should settle up instead. Brilliant! Women would be so much happier if they followed that! Very quotable! I wish all singles in the dating scene would have it as a slogan!
    Along the same lines, I love what you say about the difference in wanting to be your best as opposed wanting to be THEIR best. You said it! These quotes are keepers!

    1. Heather Maidat says:

      Thank you for this great feedback! I can’t wait to share the book with you to hear what quotes you like.

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